How To Have A Bad Day

May 15, 2012 § Leave a comment

Make sure it’s raining. Not just some poetic drizzle, but an apocalyptic monsoon that begins the moment you open your front door and ends about 30 minutes after you get to work.

Bring your useless umbrella. Watch helplessly as the wind not only turns it inside out, but snaps it clear in half.

Fall up the stairs.

Twice.

In the same trip.

Arrive in your office looking like you detoured through a waterpark. Ask your boss if he has a pair of gym shorts you can borrow because, dear God, is there anything worse than soaking wet jeans? Watch him look at you like you’re nuts.

Send the intern out in the miserable monsoon for a pair of stretchy pants from a kind female coworker’s car.

Feel horribly guilty about it.

Change into the stretchy pants. Spend the whole day feeling like that kid who peed her pants in elementary school and had to wear the spare pants from the Nurse’s Office.

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