GodDaddy of Doritos Dies

September 27, 2011 § Leave a comment

Yes, the father of flavor-dusted fingers has gone to the big mostly-air-filled bag in the sky.

[Arch]West, the Father of the Dorito, died last Tuesday of natural causes at the age of 97 in Dallas’s Presbyterian Hospital. A graveside service is planned for the morning of Oct. 1 at Restland Memorial Park… where [his family members] plan on tossing a few Doritos in along with the dirt that will cover his urn. [via Gawker]

Boy, that makes this Super Bowl commercial a little awkward.

Of course, this crunchy news begs the question: What do I want to be buried with?

When I die, bury me next to Ole Reliable, my lifelong love. Cover my grave with parmesan Goldfish crackers so birds will visit me and I won’t be lonely.

Bury me with the following:
A spoon (just in case)
A copy of Keeping Things Whole by Mark Strand
A photo of Jake Gyllenhaal with no shirt on circa the filming of Prince of Persia
My sad banana bracelet
A bottle of half decent whiskey
All of my Moleskine Citybooks
A thing of those light green tic tacs

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