The Bearded Booby Trap

March 24, 2011 § Leave a comment

Lately, I’ve been noticing some rather uncomfortable itching in the side-boob area. I’m almost always at work, where awkward scratching is generally frowned upon (if not in the employee handbook), so I kind of roll my shoulders around to fix it. This only makes it insufferable. It literally feels like there is a splinter in my bra.

Finally, I had to do something about it. I mean, it was clean laundry! I went into the bathroom and rolled my bra down to see what the hell could possibly be causing so much discomfort. Sure enough, it looked like a tiny splinter sticking out of the bra material. I had been unaware that I was scrubbing my bras on a wooden board.

Then, after many attempts, I pinched it between my fingernails and drew it out. It wasn’t a splinter. It was red. And kind of shiny. And…

It was a god damn beard hair.

Justin had shaved, thrown the shirt with all the little clippings on it into the laundry and turned all of my bras into boob hating pufferfish, poised to randomly attack at inappropriate moments.

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