Roaches are Forever

February 10, 2011 § 2 Comments

Nothing can squash our love!

Will diamonds survive the nuclear apocalypse? No. But now, your love will. The Bronx Zoo has over 58,000 Madagascar hissing roaches and those suckers need names. How else could you tell them apart?

Madagascar hissing roaches are the largest and loudest in the roach family. For a mere $10 donation, you can send the message that yes, your loved one is rather large in those jeans and her constant nagging has become hissing to your ears.

Naming a roach in honor of someone near and dear to your heart shows that you’ve noticed how resilient, resourceful, and loyal that person is. Or maybe it’s in recognition of your one and only’s virility, or strength in the face of high radiation.

Or maybe it’s a great way to tell an ex what putrid, horrifying creature he/she is.

My sample certificate

Your $10 donation will get you the honor of naming of a roach while simultaneously helping WCS conserve species and continue saving wildlife. You’ll also get a customizable certificate you can frame in your dining room as an appetizing conversation piece.

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