What the Ho Ho Hell?

December 13, 2010 § Leave a comment

And you thought fruitcake was weird. Check out these holiday inventions (or brain farts).

Looking for the perfect holiday gift for your favorite dendrophile? Shake things up with a tree vibrator!

Christmas Tree Vibrator; US Patent #2,522,906 (1950)

Don’t worry, the shattering ornaments and blur of vibrating Christmas lights will keep the neighbors distracted from the true miracle of Christmas going on under the tree.

 

Get your man in the… holiday spirit with a snowman penile wrap.

Decorative Penile Wrap; US Patent #6,145,506 (2000)

What’s manlier than an ugly Christmas sweater for his cock?

 

How about traumatizing your child? If I saw Mommy kissing a Santa Claus wearing nothing but a fake beard & a festive glorified cock ring, I think my six-year-old self would have asked for ID.

Kit for Simulating a Visit from Santa Claus; US Patent#116,049 (2006)

And if the brat doesn’t believe you, stamp a hoof print into his head and write a festive song about the tragic accident.

 

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