How to Force a Mass Suicide

October 2, 2010 § 2 Comments

Start an acoustic duo called This Guy Sucks and play shitty acoustic covers of the same songs all cover bands always play. Try to make all the songs sound exactly the same. John Cougar Mellencamp’s “Jack and Diane” should sound nearly identical to Warren Zevon’s “Werewolves of London.”

Don’t forget to insert bland filler conversation between duo members that was obviously rehearsed for no apparent reason:
What should we play next, Mike?
I dunno. How about the bed is on fire song again?
I like the way you think, brother.

Also, tune your guitars during any conversation.

The beauty of acoustic guitars is that they replace any need for a drummer! Bang out that killer drum solo on the side of your wooden torture device. Don’t be afraid to imitate cymbals clashing with your mouth: “cuchhhh!!!!”

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§ 2 Responses to How to Force a Mass Suicide

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