The Inappropriate Uncle

This not-so-elusive & actually rather-difficult-to-avoid creature is most commonly found around the liquor stash and/or dessert tables at all family functions. Typical behaviour includes groping of nieces’ behinds regardless of age, leaning muchtooclose when speaking to someone (often with whiskey  &/or cigar breath, but typically just a sour-milk wheeze)  & making lewd comments or jokes.

Inappropriate Uncles range from Perverts (hitting on family members) to Douchebags (dunking babies at Christenings) to Angry Drunks (smashing plates against the wall & vomiting on the broken glass after a particulary hard LSD flashback) & are generally tolerated due to some tragic past event that no one will bring up (except, of course, your Inappropriate Uncle).